Current WIP: coming of age paranormal
In contemplating this blog, after reading both the serious and funny previous blogs, I thought everything that makes me go hmm are either rules I learned as a child or the truly stupid things I do almost every day of my life. All I can do is say hmmm, laugh, and move on. So here they are.
I hate that saying “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.” Oh, I understand about turning your life around and starting over, but please. If that’s true, what the hell was yesterday?
I’m perpetually on and off a diet. What I’ve never figured out is how does eating one pound of something not on the list make me gain 5 lbs? I know it has to do with calories and all that, but really…it’s just not fair!
I’m forever trying to organize my life. I know I should just give up and accept that it can’t be organized. One of the things I do is go through important papers, or heirloom items and put them in a secure place. The problem is then I can’t find it again. Recently, we signed up for a security box in our bank. Of course, we haven’t put anything in their yet because I’ve already forgotten the special pin and I don’t want to admit it to them yet.
What does “I was scared half to death” mean? That’s one of those phrases I hear a lot from younger people. If it happens again are you then completely dead?
Why is it on the inside I feel 28 years old (and have for a long time) but the outside never agrees? I remember when I was a teenager my grandmother said she was stuck at 26. I thought she was crazy. Now I’ve joined her. (In the picture on the left do you see a young woman or an old woman?)
Why are the teeth most people get pulled called wisdom teeth? I lost mine at age 19, does that mean the only wisdom I have is whatever was gathered by 19? Sometimes I think it’s really true.
To round out the last two I reminisced about what my mother and grandmother passed down to me as daily rules. They all revolved around the liklihood of being hurt and then being embarrassed. Here are my two favorites.
Mother: Be sure to always wear clean underwear in case you have to go to the hospital and the doctor needs to remove it.
Grandmother: Never shave your legs in case you step off the curb and hurt yourself. I cute guy may need to massage your leg to make it better and he doesn’t want to feel all that prickliness when the hair starts to grow back.
I’m looking forward to 2009 and a whole new year of doing stupid things. In fact I’m going to bask in stupidity. Truly, it’s the only way to remain sane. 🙂
Happy Holidays everyone. From my house to yours, I wish you many blessings in the coming year. Our wonderful cat, Belle, is in the pic below. She has taken up permanent residence in front of the fireplace this winter.