Why write when you can clean bathrooms?

Posted by: Jessa Slade
Currently working on: Finding friends on Facebook
Mood: Scattered
OMG! You’re reading this when you should be out Christmas shopping?!? Or deboning the turkey to roast it down for soup? Or cleaning the bathroom?

And you call yourself a writer?!?

For me, there’s always something more important/urgent/interesting to do than write since I’m one of those annoying angsty writers. {Insert swoon here} We all have different reasons, many of them listed in this month’s earlier posts, for writing in the face of endless potential distractions. Dreams… Determination… Contractual obligations… Rabid wolves threatening to rend & devour us if our word counts aren’t met…

Wait, what? You aren’t beset by wolves? Well, aren’t you lucky.

Then here’re a few other things I use to get me “in the mood” to BICHOK:
1. Read somebody else’s stuff. Yes, I know this LOOKS like procrastination. But I am often inspired by the words of other. Either they got a 6 figure advance and totally suck and I’m, like, heck, I could’ve written that — who cares if I’ve never circumnavigated the globe in an inflatable dinghy… backwards? Better yet, I read an awesome story that challenges me to rise above. Right now, that book is Night Keepers from Jessica Andersen. I’m only 100 pages in because I’m rewarding myself with chapters, but so far I’m thoroughly enjoying it.
2. Listen to the right music. Since I’m easily distracted, I am sometimes helped by a guide into the creative zone. I found a weird CD called Hypnotic Om (the link takes you to some interesting articles by the guy who made the CD) that uses a slowing click track to lead you into theta waves, the place of dreams and The Zone. Don’t know if I believe in any of this stuff — hey, I write paranormals but I’m not crazy. Still, back to whatever works…
3. And finally, because I am a micro-achiever, I maintain an Excel spreadsheet. I’m still refining it since I recently learned I should be struggling toward scene goals, not word goals, but if anybody’s interested in getting a copy contact me through my website. (And maybe somebody can tell me how to post a file on the interwebs so that anybody can access it.) I update my output every… well, pretty much every paragraph. These aren’t baby steps, people, these are zygote steps. But again, whatever works…

And finally finally, just because this made me laugh (and remember not to take myself too seriously, which is one of the ways I ease myself into filling up that scarily blank page):

Hope y’all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. And I was kidding about the turkey bones. The bathrooms are your call.


Why write when you can clean bathrooms? — 7 Comments

  1. So it’s finally come down to cleaning bathrooms. Though in some writers’ circles, that’s become a rite of celebration. For a price, I won’t name names…

    Thanks for the chuckles, Jess! Love the photo and caption. I knew there was a reason I seldom blog. 🙂

  2. That’s how I feel about most blogs, including my own. C’mon, if I have something to say, I’ll say it, but should I really expect you to listen when I’m just trying to invent something to say to fill a blog?

  3. That’s the dastardly wonder of despair.com — all the demotivational unspirations (the opposite of inspirations) they post ARE TRUE!

    I should have an extra column in my Excel spreadsheet for bathroom mold growth…

  4. Love “despair.com”, thanks for sharing. Hate the suggestion for bathroom mold growth – looked in my bathroom – I win.

    Reading and writing blogs may be a seasonal thing, or a biorhythm (or hormonal) fluctuation. Right now it’s great entertainment for me!

    I personally feel what works for one, doesn’t for another so we should believe in the validity of all concepts until we find out they don’t work for us. So go ZEN and find your TAO. Check stars, rub charms, collect amulets, ask the Tarot. Talk to the girls/muses in the basement or attic. All are valid if they help you write the next-best book you can write.

  5. Nooooooooo, you can’t mean that about blogging. I mean really, you haven’t been hanging on my every posted word? My gems of wisdom? My amazing wit? (Okay the wit thing is taking it too far).

    As for bathrooms, I’m pretty anal about them, and kitchens, and dining rooms, and … okay, that’s why we use hard earned dollars to pay someone to come in and clean. I can’t use that excuse to procrastinate. 🙂

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